what’s floating around my head
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Sit With It, Matthew!!
“You need to sit with those emotions”-My therapist tells me this at least every third session. Supposedly, facing the myriad of emotions left behind by the death of my wife is necessary. And while I understand the purpose behind the words, I don’t like them. The experience makes me feel uncomfortable, sometimes forcing me to…
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What’s In The BOX!?!?!
I’ve been struggling lately, especially with letting go. For three months, four boxes of chinaware for Goodwill and one box of Katy’s things for a friend have sat untouched—I keep making excuses instead of dealing with them. Usually, I’m good at procrastinating, but this feels different. How might you ask? I was scared; these boxes…
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Got Kind of Dark Last Night.
I was on the fence about sharing this. It’s heavy and I don’t want to scare any of you. Also, because it contains some triggers regarding suicide, so this is your warning. Still with me….are you sure? Last chance to turn back. Okay then. First, please know that I am okay. I am working through…
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Boobs and Blood as Therapy.
This blog post is gonna be a little bit different than what you are all used to. As I navigate this scary new world I now inhabit, I take pleasure wherever I can find it. Most of the time that pleasure comes in the form of music. New albums and concerts have been a big…
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Do They Feel it Like I Do?
Last night, as I lay in bed staring at the ceiling, I could hear one of the cats in the hallway crying. This has been happening a lot. It is usually Mirren. She sits in the hallway, crying out. As I listened, I thought about what losing Katy must be like for the cats. Confusion,…
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Its a Mess
He stands in the doorway looking over the mess. It’s her mess. Not as in she is responsible for it, but it is her stuff.In one corner he stares at a pile of pens. It is a hulking mass of writing tools including highlighters, dry erase markers, crayons and even a few pencils. He sees…
Rewatch / Replay 