And Now She is Gone
My journey through grief
Category: Our Story
Music was always an important part of my relationship with my wife. It was one of the earliest sparks. And it comforted both of us through the difficulties through her fight with cancer. These are some of the stories I want to share. I hope they give you some insight to our marriage.
Thank you for reading.
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“You need to sit with those emotions”-My therapist tells me this at least every third session. Supposedly, facing the myriad of emotions left behind by the death of my wife is necessary. And while I understand the purpose behind the words, I don’t like them. The experience makes me feel uncomfortable, sometimes forcing me to…
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I’ve been struggling lately, especially with letting go. For three months, four boxes of chinaware for Goodwill and one box of Katy’s things for a friend have sat untouched—I keep making excuses instead of dealing with them. Usually, I’m good at procrastinating, but this feels different. How might you ask? I was scared; these boxes…
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I was on the fence about sharing this. It’s heavy and I don’t want to scare any of you. Also, because it contains some triggers regarding suicide, so this is your warning. Still with me….are you sure? Last chance to turn back. Okay then. First, please know that I am okay. I am working through…
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Katy and Mirren-our female cat- bonded immediately. When she turned that corner in Pet Smart, she was eye to eye with Mirren, almost like Mirren knew she was coming, and it was love at first sight. Most of the pictures you see of Mirren as a kitten are with Katy. Mirren would sleep with Katy…
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This blog post is gonna be a little bit different than what you are all used to. As I navigate this scary new world I now inhabit, I take pleasure wherever I can find it. Most of the time that pleasure comes in the form of music. New albums and concerts have been a big…
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With my birthday coming up I’ve been thinking about Katy a lot. Birthdays were never a big thing for Katy and I; we did not throw parties or buy lavish gifts for each other. We preferred to play hooky from work and spend the day together; that was a gift. Sometimes we would catch a…
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Grief has made me recognize little things that I took for granted in the 20 years I was with Katy. In a marriage, at least in my experience, there comes a point when your partner develops into something more than just a partner, they become the eyes in the back of your head, or a…
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Last night, as I lay in bed staring at the ceiling, I could hear one of the cats in the hallway crying. This has been happening a lot. It is usually Mirren. She sits in the hallway, crying out. As I listened, I thought about what losing Katy must be like for the cats. Confusion,…
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He stands in the doorway looking over the mess. It’s her mess. Not as in she is responsible for it, but it is her stuff.In one corner he stares at a pile of pens. It is a hulking mass of writing tools including highlighters, dry erase markers, crayons and even a few pencils. He sees…
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Buckle up folks, this is a long one. I know I said that I did not adhere to genre prejudice; but if there is one style of music that I would set as THE music that started it all for me, it would be hard Rock. Specifically, the dirty denim bands. These were the bands…
And Now She is Gone 