And Now She is Gone

My journey through grief

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I am a 50+ widower living in VA with two cats and my father. I lost my wife of 20 years, Katy, to cancer in the fall of 2024. I entered into therapy for help navigating my grief and journaling was suggested. Through journaling I discovered that I enjoyed writing and I began to experiment with various styles and format until a friend, after reading some of what I had written, suggested I share some of what I was writing and here we are. While I am not sure what this will be, or if I will even keep up with it, I can assure that what I post here will be genuine. At times I will share stories from my life with Katy. Some times it may be my stab at fiction or poetry. It may not be good, but it will be honest. And I encourage your thoughts and ideas regarding what I post, I walk to chat. Anyways, I do appreciate the time you are taking to visit my blog. Matt
A new kind of fear

A new kind of fear






This is a different kind of fear.

Not like the fear I felt the night I asked her to marry me.

Not like the fear I felt when we bought our first house.

Not like the fear I felt when she looked at me and said “I have cancer.”

Not like the fear I felt when she told me she wanted hospice.

This is a different kind of fear.

This kind sticks to me, like sap from a tree.

This kind of fear stings my eyes like the sweat of a hot summer day.

And I have to face it alone. 

It’s that kind of fear. 





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