And Now She is Gone

My journey through grief

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I am a 50+ widower living in VA with two cats and my father. I lost my wife of 20 years, Katy, to cancer in the fall of 2024. I entered into therapy for help navigating my grief and journaling was suggested. Through journaling I discovered that I enjoyed writing and I began to experiment with various styles and format until a friend, after reading some of what I had written, suggested I share some of what I was writing and here we are. While I am not sure what this will be, or if I will even keep up with it, I can assure that what I post here will be genuine. At times I will share stories from my life with Katy. Some times it may be my stab at fiction or poetry. It may not be good, but it will be honest. And I encourage your thoughts and ideas regarding what I post, I walk to chat. Anyways, I do appreciate the time you are taking to visit my blog. Matt
Boobs and Blood as Therapy.

Boobs and Blood as Therapy.

This blog post is gonna be a little bit different than what you are all used to.


As I navigate this scary new world I now inhabit, I take pleasure wherever I can find it. Most of the time that pleasure comes in the form of music. New albums and concerts have been a big part of my therapy. Films have been a nice distraction as well. This year marks the 45th anniversary of my favorite horror franchise, Friday the 13th. These films have been a part of my life since I saw Part 2 at the age of 9 and I have been hooked ever since. If Halloween opened the door for the “unstoppable” slasher genre film, Friday the 13th used the heads of horny teens to prop it open. My wife Katy HATED these movies, but she would sit and watch them with me from time to time and the couch would quickly become The Satellite of Love from MS3TK. I have always been aware of how ridiculous these films can get, that is part of the attraction for me; I believe that if I had had more time Katy might’ve grown to appreciate their entertainment value.


The franchise has had some classics-The first film and FT13: New Beginning are often recognized as modern horror landmarks-and there have been a few forgettable entries-Jason Takes NY is kind of lame-but even the worst of these films entertain on some level, if you can’t enjoy the sleeping bag kill in New Blood, I can’t help you friend.


Friday the 13th also introduced me to the concept of “less is more”. My introduction to the franchise was in the form of made for TV cuts. All the boobs and blood were removed. There is something more intense about these films when they were cut properly, they are more effective without the gore and jump scares. To this day, I prefer NOT to see the monster until the last possible moment, and I like my kills in the form of some well mixed sound from off screen. As I got older and was able to watch the films in their original cuts my love of them grew. As the kills became sillier, the “jump scares” became more obvious and the plots just disappeared each of the movies became more comforting to me. Now they often play in the background as I’m building a LEGO set or doing a crossword. I still line up for theatrical re-releases; and yes, one is playing as I type this. And every Friday the 13th weekend I randomly choose two to binge.


Find what makes you happy and embrace it. Comfort yourself in your own way, particularly when grieving. And my thanks to Jason for offering a distraction as I navigate life without Katy. Your support is appreciated.

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