And Now She is Gone

I’m not a therapist—just someone navigating grief and a job search out loud. If you’re in need of help, please use professional support channels designed for that care.
Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741 (24/7).

Heads up, friends—this is a long one.

Grief talks to you.
It has a voice.

If left to its own devices, that voice will guide you down the wrong path. It disguises itself as safety. It creates a false sense of comfort as you sink deeper into the couch.

My grief is most aggressive when I’m faced with new decisions.

This morning, I opened an interview invite for Monday. For some, that email would bring excitement. Instead, I stared at the Zoom link as grief began slipping self-doubt into my thoughts:

Am I actually right for this job?
Did I misrepresent my experience?
What happens when they realize I’m not who they think I am?
Is it kinder to bow out now than to disappoint later?

These questions don’t arrive as panic.
They arrive dressed as reality.

Grief has a way of turning curiosity into interrogation. It reframes opportunity as a potential mistake. It takes a normal moment of self-assessment—something every job hunter experiences—and stretches it into a judgment of your worth.

Instead of asking what I bring, grief pushes me to inventory everything I lack.
Instead of wondering how I could grow, it asks why I haven’t already arrived.
It convinces me that readiness must mean certainty—and since certainty is impossible, the safest answer is to step back.

This is one of the quiet struggles of job hunting while grieving: your inner dialogue stops being a coach and becomes a cross-examiner.

But the truth is this—being unsure doesn’t mean you’re unqualified. It doesn’t mean you don’t belong. Often, it means you care deeply about doing the work well.

I accepted the interview.

Not because the questions stopped, but because I’ve learned to recognize when grief is asking them on my behalf. I can pause, acknowledge the doubt, and return the question to where it belongs:

Am I willing to show up and try?

If you’re navigating grief while job hunting and asking yourself these same questions, you’re not failing. You’re carrying something heavy—and still moving forward. And that says more about your readiness than certainty ever could.

Sometimes progress isn’t confidence.
It’s choosing not to let grief answer for you.